Comfort zone

My last post was 2 years ago when I ranted about my terrible financial status. 2 years passed and I'm still nowhere better than before, financially. One thing I have in abundance is time as I chose to be self employed and started doing micro business with Susenji. 

Comfort zone. Being out of it seems to be a challenge as either you work it out or you drop right in. I can say it was fun and refreshing for me at first. I did a lot of work and was constantly motivating myself to want to see more results. However, there are down times that I drowned myself in the time to slow down and kind of stopped the motivation. Procrastination seriously kicked in and I slowly see the whole picture fading off. 

I hate myself for not being successful as what I envisioned at the start of this business. I have not proved anybody or anything that it is okay to be self employed. I dread to explain myself so hard sometimes. Almost a year into the business, I received these questions from almost everyone. "How is your Susenji? Is it doing well? How long are you intending to do this? Are you too comfortable or okay to continue to be self employed? What are your plans?" 

I wish I have a "Guide to Life" to answer myself as well. I felt like I'm being judged or really negative when I received those questions because they hit me so hard that reality hurts. I did not make it as good as how it should be. I should not be doing this business or self employed because of this or that. Each time I got pinned down by these, the harder it is to get back up. 

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